Damn, You Just Got Bit! A Handbook for New Vampires

So, you’ve been sired. What now? You have started the biggest adventure of your life, or should we say of your death. Or undeath.

Things are never going to be the same again. You need a roadmap for your new existence. Forget all the old stuff. That’s all gone now. It’s time to face the future. You no longer need to worry about the fate of the ordinary human. All they have to look forward to is death. For you, provided you don’t run into any pesky vampire slayers, you have all the time in the world ahead of you.

How are you going to fill all this time, time without end?

It’s a privilege to be a vampire. You’re one of the special ones, the chosen ones. You’re nothing like the run of the mill masses with all their dreary jobs and dull lives.

Jack Kerouac said, “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’”

Vampires are these people. A cut above. Vampires have more bite, more penetration, more everything.

This is your handbook to orient you to your undeath. Your transition will take a lot of getting used to. You’ll be meeting entirely different people. You’ll be mixing in new circles. You’ll be leaving behind familiar family and friends. You’ll be expanding your horizons. You'll be learning about the origins of vampires in ancient Egypt, and the Egyptians' extraordinary religious views based on pure magic.

Are you ready for this? It’s time for you to step into the spotlight. Now is your time. Your time to shine. You are one of the extraordinary ones! Enjoy!