Don’t you get exasperated, furious even, about why “God” is so confusing? Why are there so many different religions and spiritual systems, all saying completely different things? How are we supposed to discover the truth of God? Doesn’t it drive you crazy? Doesn’t it make you desperate to get to the bottom of it all? There must be a way to find the right answer. It surely wasn’t supposed to be this difficult. Something’s getting in the way, blocking our path to God. It’s as if there’s some kind of forcefield standing between God and us. Maybe we could call it the Devil Field, or the field of fake news and false information.
It takes something drastic to break on through to the other side, but how on earth did I end up using “vampires” to talk to God? You definitely can’t get any more drastic and desperate than that. My idea for getting the dope on God was in fact inspired by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, hence why this is about the vampire route to God.
My plan was simple. To extract God from the Bible by scanning it into my computer, and then get God to answer my questions. What could possibly go wrong with that?