Adam Nostra

I want to tell you about the secret event in Trump Tower where the Devil gave a lecture to assorted A-listers on how to be more successful on Tinder. In his select audience were Jesus Christ, God the Father, God the Holy Ghost, Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Harvey Weinstein, and many other luminaries.

Want to succeed on Tinder? Follow the example of the best - Satan. He's so seductive that women give themselves to him body and soul!

The Socialist Republic of California and the Libertarian Republic of Texas were natural enemies, destined to clash. The trigger for the outbreak of war was the cataclysmic presidential election of 2044, which saw the extraordinary election of Jared Kushner, a man fated never to serve even one day in the White House.

Historians said that the war became inevitable during the turbulent years of the 2030s when the two female presidents of that decade, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) and Ivanka Trump, brought about the extreme polarization that rendered the USA finally ungovernable. AOC, in her astonishing four-year presidency, following her landslide victory of 2032, explicitly referred to the USA as a "Socialist Republic", changing forever America's view of itself as the adamantine fortress of capitalism. AOC was simultaneously viewed as an angel and a demon, depending on political allegiance.